Dear mommy..

Assalamu'alaikum ibu.

This is my first unsent letter to you.

You won't read this, you'll never do so,but my sentiment brought me here.

Happy belated birthday, I love you :)

Your birthday was 5 days ago,finally, I did it! I finally found pink carnations to buy. The flower that I've always thought I will give it for you someday, my bad, I only find them recently.

Soon, it will be two years after you left. There's so many things that already changed, in a good way.

We're getting closer to Allah, I'm now a changed woman, lil bro is getting mature. We're much calmer than before, even though shown his helpless belligerent rage sometimes :p

but bu, I'm still a lazy ass as always, you might cry if you're still alive, hehe.

I'm amazed that you don't throw me away at early age, because everybody knows that I made no use to you. I'm lazy,never get anything right, yet you still loved me, and for that I'm more than grateful.

You know bu, there are many times I'm still hoping for you to be alive, seems like I and lil bro couldn't get used to it yet. I miss you bu. I keep remembering when you tried to woke me up by tapping my nose, and when I opened my eyes,you said :

"you have no idea how much I love you, don't you?"

 My eyes will got teary everytime I think or talk about you.

 However we've been trying our best to be ikhlas, because we really love you. May Allah bless us continuously and may us reunited in His jannah. Aamiin.

Being born as your daughter is one of the best blessing I received from Allah SWT. Alhamdulillahirabbil'alamin.

Thank you for patiently took care of me.

May Allah bless you and forgives your mistakes.

with so much love and prayers,

your only daughter :)

 

 

 

Other lessons of life

Assalamu'alaikum everyone..

How's everyone doing? It's already the middle of February,how fast eh?

So, during this one and half month after my last blogpost,I've encountered many things and alhamdulillah I've learned quite good lesson of life.

In January,me,who was supposed to be enjoying my semester holiday and who planned to do thesis on early childhood education related had to face the ugly truth. My proposal was rejected twice, in other words, I had to re-write the thesis proposal right from the beginning in only one week,two times, went for proposal defense two times,assaulted two times. For the third times,I finally passed,but with a suggestion to change my main journal,which means,I have to start right from the beginning,once again.

I thought that was a big problem, I was thinking I'm the most miserable person in the whole world,because nothing went well as planned, I failed to filled up my family's expectation, because I thought,failed twice would make my father sad.

That's when Allah made me realize I was wrong. I am so lucky and my problem is just soooooo very trivial,unnecessary and I don't even have the right to complain,because there are so many blessings I forgot to be thankful for. I was really stupid, don't you think so?

After the third screening,I finally took sometimes to go home. I planned to stay only for 5 days tho. Once again,Allah showed me that me as a human only can plan something,it's Him who has the right to execute all. That time,my brother was hospitalized once again and I had to took care of him.

 

 

 Alhamdulillah, Allah made everything easier for us,Allahuakbar. Even I and dad was having attempt to selfie in hospital. He was doing his best to show off his teeth because I insisted so bad,but that's to funny that I end up laughing so hard and shaking,so the picture turned out so bad, then when I asked to do it once again, dad said he didn't want to x(

 Eventually,it's his 18th birthday, and we cannot celebrate it because he's still bedridden,and my dad's quite busy to give a surprise or something. However, his friend came to celebrate it,giving him surprise,birthday cake and a meaningful birthday present. 

That's so heartwarming,and I'm being thankful for his friends too. My brother recover after 3 days,alhamdulillah.

Anyway,that's not the end of the story.  At the same day my brother allowed to go home,I fainted, I vomited many times, my body temperature was so high, I couldn't eat anything,and  I barely have any consciousness, my dad rushed brought me to emergency unit of the same hospital that took care of my brother. What I thought that time was "I'm only a useless person, I only burden to my dad and brother,even being 22 years,I'm still useless", in my bare consciousness, I apologized to Dad for making tired and be a burden to him. Dad said it's okay,because I am his daughter,his responsibility, Allah put us in that situation,insyaAllah we can through it. I could only cried in silent.

That was the first time of me being hospitalized. I was diagnosed with having dyspepsia,fever and my lever didn't function quite well.  Alhamdulillah, I only have to get rest well as much as I can to recover. Alhamdulillah.

Health is really a blessing, we only know how precious it is when we become sick. However,sickness also a blessing,it reduced our sins. Went through all of this events made me being thankful more and more, I learn more how to be patient, and to not over-thinking. MasyaAllah.

Now I'm already back in Jakarta, have to attend class and be ready for my thesis. Bismillah.

Thank you for having some time to read this. May you are in the best health and iman.

The right things only come from Allah, the wrong belongs to me only.

See you in the next post insyaAllah.

Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh :)

Syafakallah for us

Assalamu'alaikum silent readers,hehe

how are you? I hope you're in the best condition of health and iman :)
Actually I'm not in a good shape now. I caught a cold,so I snot and cough for every 10 seconds or so,right now. A professor of mine said that,getting sick for so many times while pursuing your master degree,having 1000 hair-falls a day,can't sleep peacefully every night are considered normal and tolerable. She sounded exaggerating at first,but it makes sense now.

Taken from benefiko's instagram

Unbeknownst to me,my little brother is actually get sick too. He fainted in school yesterday,caused by his gastritis,then his condition got worse at night and he's hospitalized. I feel bad because I am not there and my Dad is so busy alone taking care of brother,and he's just recovered from flu couple days ago. May الله bless him continuously, aamiin.

 

Health is really a blessing. People often said that we don't know how precious it was until we get sick. Sickness is a blessing too,it's like a reminder for us that we're just nothing without our God,despite all the greatness we have,we can be really powerless when we get sick. Rasulullah SAW said that sickness is the expiation of sins,subhanallah. This is explained in some Hadith,like this one :

For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim -even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn - Allah removes some of his sins. (
HR. Bukhari no. 5641)

there is more you can learn in here, here and here 

So,don't forget to be thankful for every situation,be thankful if you're healthy, be thankful and be patient if you're sick. I'll try it :) 

Anyway,please wish me and my brother a speedy recovery.

wish to meet you in the next post.

Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh :)

عيد ميلاد سعيد يا أبي

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah wa barakatuh..

Today is my dad's 53th birthday and alhamdulillah I still have the chance to congratulate him today.
Dad is actually is in Surabaya now,so I called him and recited my du'a for him,may الله grant it all :)
and this is the second post about his birthday in this blog.

the funny thing is I actually wanted to give him surprise,so I prepared a birthday gift and send it via jne.

It was scheduled to arrive today at his office in Bukittinggi,little did I know that he had to depart to Surabaya for his work yesterday.. and that means...

SURPRISE IS FAILED!

anyway,have a blissful week,everybody,

till then, wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabaraktuh :)

For mother I love the most...

it's been a while since I last updated this blog. My mom just passed away on June 21,2012 and no doubt it was the most painful memory I've ever had in my entire life. However,what I can do for her is sending my du'a and good amal, so that I still can make her smile,even when she's not physically exist beside me anymore,just like mbapika said. I am thankful for being born as her daughter,and I am always proud of her. She was,is,and will still be my everything.

"I'm so grateful for every moment I spent with you,'Cause I know life wont last forever. You went so soon,so soon" - So soon (Maher Zain)

If you know my mom in real life,recognize her, please forgive the mistakes she had done,may Allah bless you. 

anyway,if you have lost your parent(s) too, you can also read good articles about what you can do to your late parents here and here

Salam